OK. Another post after a really long time. Not that I did not have anything to post about but off late have been wondering whether I write for myself or for the world. Because there is so much to write to/for myself but nothing for the world. Reasons aplenty-articulation, confusion and some amount of secrecy.

A lot is happening. In me and around me. Simple things first..

We moved into a new house. A huge room to myself …. actually the whole floor to myself. Sounds like a reason to celebrate?? Not really.. I miss my old room which was more like what I needed. But change is supposed to feel good. And it will.

Career planning going on. I know it is scary. Never wanted any other influence to determine what I should do. But  there is lesson I am still learning – I am what I am because of all those influences. Some mild some really strong.

Friends at work are back. They were majorly travelling (business +personal trips) all of last quarter and it feels good to see everyone back in the office.

So many long weekends. Just one trip. Went to Ooty first and then to Coimbatore to the Isha Yoga Centre. It was a different world. One of my best trips( maybe I say it everytime but this one was one heck of a trip!). But just realised I carried my mind even there. So it actually could have been better.

Aditya is back and Anil is coming. Two of my closest friends who were distanced because of a dream. The American Dream. The nightmare of recession and ‘Hindustani mitthi ki Khushboo’ is drawing them back. I am not complaining.

The domain of my head. Things have changed. I have changed. I am not able to recognise myself sometimes. What was then and what is now . Things are not the same anymore. Feels good sometimes and also feels bitter sometimes.

There is a deep sense of loss. Something inexplicable.

But I will be strong. Strong like never before. Feels good to think about what I am going to be. It is all about getting there …sooner or later. But the idea of it is exciting…Really.

And there is a last minute entry- There is MAGIC at home and it is something I just needed.

Preaching,Teaching, Educating and Empowering- The Google Way

Talking to more of my kind*… Experiencing different forms of life simultaneously…Working with a committed lot… Working for a good cause. No time to think about me sometimes

Random stuff.

Giving my best to get/give the maximum I can.

Dirt,heat,pollution,noise- something I had forgotten living with. Wiping the sweat on my brow, throwing away my soiled shirt, a hot water bath and a content meal.

Hitting the bed exhausted, content.

I feel alive

Context: The Google Internet Bus Project and related photos

* All humans have been kind to me…:P

Funny how things are changing. Funny how people are changing. Funny how I am being forced to change.  Change which I am not in any mood to welcome atleast.

Funny how amount of happiness someone can give you is directly proportional to how much they can hurt you. Funny how you are trying to figure out what I am reffering to here. Funny how I am getting to know about things which I am supposed to know from someone I really don’t know. Funny how I am being given tags that define my character. Funny how ‘cool’ness is defined. Funny what hopes can do to you. Funny when you ‘just know’ no matter whether you are filled with pessimism or optimism. Funny how some nightmares are recurring and people around are making me believe that they are true. Funny when I think about people I ‘like’.

Funny when I look at myself when I am restless. Funny how restlessness comes from helplessness.

Funny that this is the only place I feel like venting something out. Funny.

Well, maybe not so funny.

A roller coaster of a weekend. If weekends are for ‘chilling’ then this was something else.

Caution:The incoherence in my post could be due to my lack of sleep.( 41hours without sleep- 2days+1 night). But there are so many things to talk about this weekend.

Grandpa is in the hospital. He had an attack of pneumonia last week which turned pretty bad at  a stage due to his age. But he is recovering now. Talked to him for a whole long time on saturday. Hospitals are not great places to be in and they get worse in the night. I was on hospital duty for 24 hours. I finished reading half of  ’Life of Pi*’, tried to make sense of some medical terminology, was glued to the display screen and was praying that the spasm oxygen level does not fall below 80, watched how different nurses and doctors kept themselves awake on night duty, watched some emergency patients battle out their injuries. Just waiting for my grandpa to come back home as soon as possible. 12 days is too long to be in a hospital.

Sunday was just MAD-ness. Running around adorable hyper kids, watch them sing and dance(perform),eat and play with them, watch the ‘friends of snakes’ pulling out one snake after another from their bags( I held a python!), dance for some mass Telugu songs by the campfire. Context: MAD(Make a Difference) was organising a summer camp for kids in TARA( a home for the homeless). There were 40 kids between ages 2-17 and it was 3 day camp in a resort where they learnt a lot of soft skills,yoga,painting, dance etc. It was typically MAD. .

Also in the weekend:

Rafa lost on clay. Having difficulty typing this also. If Federer ever had a chance to win the French open, this is it. Can he win this one and equal Pete ‘The Legenedary’ Sampras’ record?

Watched ‘Angels and Demons’ in IMAX. Mini Review: Not even close to the book but the effort to compress all that into 2.5 hrs without losing any major part of the story was commendable. Too much talking in the movie but just loved all the Visuals. Brought back the days of me walking through the majestic streeets of Rome.

*Life Of Pi – Only finished half of the book. Really liked the story and the anecdotes for religion used in the book. Was not too impressed with the writing style. Maybe I had too much hype in my head. But ther best part of the book is supposedly the second half,so looking forward to it.(Damn this hype)

The holiday is over.:(

I am no longer sleeping in a sleeping bag in a tent. The AC in the room has replaced the sound of the mighty Ganga flowing past. I wake up to see a missed call from the cab driver instead of sunrise over the snow capped Himalayas. There are no beautiful valleys or winding curves on my way to office. Corn Flakes and Muffins have replaced the elaichi tea and aloo parathas in the mornings. I am using the elevators to go 40 feet after having climbed more than a 100o metres on foot.

The Google Food( which is one of our greatest incentive) has replaced aloo-paratha/jeera rice/dal tadka/raitha and maggi(very popular in those regions). High speed broadband has replaced ‘power’less and ‘connectivity’less days. Places are called Jubilee Hills and Banjara Hills and not Gangotri,DevPrayag and RudraPrayag. Ringtones have replaced the calls of the wild.Wallpapers have replaced the actual locations. The adventure now is only in meeting deadlines and expectations.

Life seems more comfortable but it doesn’t seem so beautiful.

But one thing is sure- I am back to where I belong.

P.S- I was on a vacation for ten days in Uttaranchal. Went Rafting in the mighty Ganges(Grade 5 Rapids), Enjoyed gazing at the snow of the himalayas, Camped in forests,  Walked long distances,  Traced back to the source of The Ganga, Travelled for long hours on winding roads, Ate whatever was available, Did some soul searching, Took morning walks on river sides,Trekked the highest peak of Uttaranchal(4000mtrs), Made some impromptu plans, Went to the Wagah Border and experienced the pride of the uniform first hand,Planned,Laughed,Argued,Voted and Contemplated. Am I missing something?

A lot has been said. Nothing has been done.

Two words

GO VOTE.

Vote against the main two forces- Dynasty And Communal Politics ( For People’s sake,it is democracy)

Vote against instability.

Vote for a change not for a alternative.

Whatever the reason is,Just Vote. Find a good candidate(ask around or google) and then vote. Even if you are sure he/she is not going to win,JUST VOTE.

This is bigger than an opinion poll. This is bigger than reality TV. This is bigger than any award or recognition. It is as big as it should be.

Vote is an ‘action verb’. Give it its right place. Understand what you really need and be selfish. Vote for yourself.

Reason for the post -

Shuunya for once means more than zero and he wants it to be 10 this time. And just to re-assure I would have had to (not sure about the grammar) think about this one(or ten??)

1. Is the number I would want to have on my jersey.
2. Is the number of years it has been since I passed out of college.
3. Is the number of times I have given CAT. ( less than half the times Sasidhar has given)
4. Is the number of days I was in the best place in the world- Rome
5. Is the number of years I played Tennis.
6. Is the number of  pets I have had (or we as a family have had)
7. Is the number of movies in the IMDB top ten list that I have seen.
8. Is the class in school when I had my first major crush.
9. Is the class when I was on internet for the first time (on it??..:P)
10. Is the number of sports I have tried a hand at.(Tennis,Cricket,Baddy,Squash,TT,Football,VolleyBall,Swimming (sport?), DodgeBall(we played that in school ) and Seven Stones (it is an awesome village sport) )

Now that I just managed to get through the first things that came into my mind for these numbers. Time to put some more to these thoughts. Pass on

Macha – The Senti Man

RSS – The shady guy

Ramya – Maybe this will Clarify it.:)

Psycho – He is the Stats guy

Kommu – Just adding to her tasks.

Stylu – Comeback time.

Genuine – Incomplete without tagging him

A lazy saturday afternoon. All I have been doing was trying to better my speed at changing channels, just to get away from the news channels which have been showing the same things for no clue how long now. It was Raj Thackerey once and now it is Varun Gandhi. I am sure Varun Gandhi would not have all this stardom of ‘going to jail for his principles’ if not for the media. In some place called Pilihibit( I still don’t know which state it is in) he makes a usual communal statement and thanks to the myriad of news channels he becomes a star overnight.

Is this  NEWS? I guess it is a debate which I have been hearing everywhere but I guess the answer lies with us. None of us would watch the Doordarshan for news. Because it is plain simple news. We need that little extra entertainment. And there is no LIMIT.  Who draws the line? We want something and we dont want the same thing.  It is even worse with the Telugu channels. There are about 15 news channels now to complement the 10 or so political parties. Each channel has a favourite ( the thin line between journalism and advertising is fading). Today’s news was all about the people who haven’t got party tickets to contest in the elections. So many parties and still no opportunity. I am scared to think of it as a good sign where everyone is aspiring to be a politician. I might be speculatively true if I say this is a sign of recession as politics is surely recession proof.

And now for Democracy and its effects. People have got more vocal now. On one side we have movies like Gulaal and sites like bleedindia.com mocking the democratic perversions and on the other hand are initiatives like Lead India and parties like Loksatta trying to re instil the faith in it. But are we really democratic is a very individual question.

But to answer such a question we need to be good citizens first. We crib about the situation. Some genuinely and some just to mask our incompetence. But what can we do? We laugh at our friends who follow the rules. We bribe the corrupted guy down the road and complain about it day in and day out. We justify some of our not so fair actions as ‘human’. We take refuge in the great American Dream to keep us away from this system. We call voting for a genuine candidate a vain cause.  We blame the police for spoiling our parties. We dope and blame the drug peddler for ruining lives. We debate when we are drunk and talk about ideal situations. We cannot find time for social service as we don’t have time to cater to our social needs. We just don’t care enough.

Some people do. I am talking about us not them.

Too late for debates on Slumdog but I thought we were missing the point somewhere. The point of a billion Indians celebrating something. And do we need a reason for that?

It is an American honor ( in this case an oscar) to a song sung by a North Indian Sikh, the lyrics to which were written by a West Indian Muslim and was composed by a South Indian (past:Hindu present:Muslim future:Great) for a movie directed by a British Christian based on a book written by a North Indian Hindu.

Isn’t this reason enough?

Celebrate. Cheer for Good health. And ironically I am getting to say this-” Don’t think too much”

All men are equal but are not the same.

 Thanks to ‘Him’ we have so many beautiful religions and so many ways to do the same thing.

Thanks wherever due for all the uncertainities, for all the ambiguities and for all the irregularities. If not for them I would have never learnt. 

Thanks Man!