Rohit’s Weblog

aimless,thoughtless,directionless and focus less.

Even the most trusted of my ‘ thought procceses’ have given up on me.  For the first time in long there is this feeling of emptiness. Is this just another thought or something which requires something more? For once there is more than just optimism in me.  For once I have no idea about what I have planned. For once I am lost in thin line between what I am winning and what I am losing. Not so long ago did I think that not having anything on my mind could be something I can look forward to. SO was I looking forward to this?

But why all of a sudden?. What has changed. Nothing in specific around me but something actually did change. Something that is called ‘me’. I guess I will never realise whether it is for the good or the bad. But I don’t think I am liking it too much. As long as I was giving in to my whims everything seemed so normal. But now it doesn’t.

I am still confused.Still lost. Need something to bail me out of this. Maybe someone. But am I looking for advice. A big NO.

Then what am I looking for. Is it a ‘query’ which can be searched on the Internet. Not really? It is just me. I need something. And maybe just a new start. Fresh and clean. Too much of my past is haunting me for no reason. Thanks to some ‘friends’,  too much is about being me. Is it such a taxation? or is it just another day’s work of my mind….

Inspiration has never been the only reason to write. But to write this post I needed a no better inspiration than the year 2008. A year which was the most eventful one of my life. A year where I saw the worst lows of my life. The year in which I lost and then  I gained. The year which actually changed a lot of ‘me’.

I have learnt. Learnt that people change,that people are judgemental, that people are impulsive, that people are sensitive, that people are uniquely different, that people are  collectively similar, that people all over the world are same people,that people make mistakes and finally that I am one of those people.

A demographic has changed.  From spending 24 hrs in the vicinity of similar thinking friends (an assumption) to meeting friends only on weekends, there was no effort involved. Friends are no longer the people who think like me, who have been known to me for a lot of years, but I have learnt that there is much more to friendship than just having them.

The biggest high of the year. Travelling. For someone who hasn’t set foot outside Indian soil, I have travelled and travelled a lot. From visiting few states all my 20 years I suddenly found myself in three European countries on the same day. I have found a new high in travelling. Travelling is all about meeting new people and every person is a lesson in themselves. ANd when it comes to this I wouldn’t mind being a Nerd.

This was just a personal look. And the world has seen a lot more than just change. Some which I have mentioned in my ‘forced blog’( calling it forced atleast relieves some pressure off). 2008 was a year which I would love to look back at in future also. And if there is one thing I am happy about the most it would surely be GOOGLE. A place where I have grown professionally and personally thanks to the people around.

So much for another forced post, I have been crapping more than ever before. Hope everyone has a great Year of 2009. May the God in you bless you.!